Matt the Firsty here. I’m gave Emily the evening off because I wanted to update y’all on the crazy hectic-ness going on here in First Life. It’s been over three months since the last time I guest-blogged for Emily, so I figure I’m due. And I’m really giving her the night off, even letting her take the night off from being pregnant. Instead, for the sake of the obligatory style card, I’m stepping back to what I think of as basic ‘core’ Emily: cute, flirty, and sassy:
“Mmmph, mmph” I’ve got too much to say to let Emily add her two cents…
- Shape: Gigi Teen from Kids 5B
- Skin: Kesia from WoW Skins
- Hair: Dori from Tameless Hair
- Dress: Muffin, in Red, from a Blue Blood gacha machine
- Footwear: Red hearts sheer stockings; Colorado Boots in Black; Both are from Grumble, Grumble
- Tattoo: ‘You make me happy’ from Orsini
- Jewelry: Golden Ouroboros Torc from Adore & Abhor; Dangly beaded earrings from Grumble, Grumble; Pearl White Bangles from *JStyle; Kiss Me Headband from le fil casse; source unknown nose ring.
So on to what’s new in my life…
My wife is still pregnant. Now to the point where the pregnancy is visible, and random little old ladies come up and poke her belly. I could probably do an entire post about our irritation with this. In fact, I kind of did. I’m rather proud of that post, by the way. I’ve obviously never been pregnant myself, since I don’t have the right parts and pieces for that. Most of the anecdotes Emily shares are things that happened to me, with identifying details transmogrified to better fit her life. This time I was altering my wife’s story while stepping into a first person role within the story, and I’m just really satisfied with how it all worked out.
This pose is named ‘Peace with Attitude'; Could any pose be more appropriate?
There is approximately a month or so to go before I become a father, so right now is kind of like that moment when the cart is being brought to the top of the first hill in a new roller coaster. I’m unsure, nervous, even freaking out a little bit. I suspect, but I don’t know, what parenthood is going to be like. The thing is, even though the ride hasn’t really started per se, it has still started enough that getting off the roller coaster is no longer an option… Recently my wife and I went to birthing class. Given the whole busy/hectic life thing, we opted for requesting a day off from work and doing the all-in-one-long-session version rather then try to fit a weekly or bi-weekly class. I’m more freaked out by the impending arrival now that I’ve been forced to watch three births on a larger than life projection screen. I’m not even carrying the baby, I have the simple job: stay calm and give my wife emotional support to help her get through a painful and trying time. I’m now scared to death, not that anything bad is going to happen to my wife or to the baby, just that I’m going to completely fuck up my role, and be a drain rather than a bulwark to my wife’s psyche. My father was an ‘interesting’ personality: he was incredibly smart, generally disdainful of social conventions, and had a unique blend of penetrating insight and emotional obliviousness. All my life, my family has laughed at the story of my dad at my birth. My mom had a very long early labor stage before progressing to active labor. My dad was in the waiting room with some of the other family. The doctor came in to let them know that it had finally begun, and asked my dad if he wanted to come back to the delivery room. My dad gave the doctor a brief blank stare before replying, “I did my job nine months ago; it’s time for you to go in and do yours.” All my life, I’ve experienced that story from the viewpoint of a witness; now, all of a sudden, I get the story from dad’s viewpoint.
I was re-reminded of the story by a contrasting story my pastor told recently. There were complications with his wife’s first pregnancy, and the doctor came out to tell the pastor that they needed to do an emergency C-section, before telling him to scrub up. My pastor knew C-section meant a surgery, that they were going to be cutting into his wife, and there was going to be blood and he gets rather woozy and he told the doctor it might be better if he just waited outside. My pastor is a big man, and very fit. His doctor was a little Korean man, just a little over five feet. The little doctor reached up, grabbed the pastor by the collar, and replied, “Listen, mister. You got her into this mess, the least you can do is be there when we get her out of it.” That story has been my mantra when I start freaking out.
Don’t freak out, Firsty. Just stay calm and pray for dawn…
Now as if the impending arrival of our first child wasn’t enough of a big change, my wife and I have also become home owners for the first time. In theory, I’m excited about owning a home. I like the sense that I’ve accomplished one of the goals of a successful life. In practice, I’m surrounded by shambling mounds of crates and boxes and a whole new list of things to do. Moving is a big deal, there is a lot to do. A lot of man-hours go into packing stuff, moving the stuff, unpacking the stuff, arranging the stuff, making the new house into a home. Now let’s do the math: my wife is very pregnant right now; she’s physically limited, sleeps badly, and fatigues easily. We are both introverted, somewhat melancholy personalities; that’s a plus in that we both most cherish quiet, peaceful time alone together and a minus in that we don’t have many friends or the sort of personality to ask/suggest/con our friends into putting their man-hours into our move. We have a large extended family, but it is extended beyond our geographic region. The relatives in the immediate region have enough limitations of age and health and schedule that we can’t really dump much of our burden upon them. So guess who that leaves… yep, that would be me. All those extra man-hours of moving, plus the man-hours involved actually owning and up keeping a house, when I’m a technically middle-aged man who has two jobs and therefore works an average of 50 to 55 hours a week. It’s no wonder I feel like my list of things to do is growing faster than I can check things off… Which is why I’m going to post this post as Part I and hopefully return to post Part II soon…