Sister, can you spare some time?

Posted: September 23, 2013 in Writing Prompt
Tags: , , ,

I got todays outfit on, and realized that I had nothing in particular to say and no place in particular to go.  (This has more to do with the fact I have far too much blood in my caffeine flow than any change in my usual chatty personality.)  Fortunately, as always, WordPress.Com’s daily post was there to prime the pump… Tell us about a talent you’d love to have… but don’t.

Two words: Time Management.

Just sittin' and chillin'

Just sittin’ and chillin’

I recently learned that I may suffer from adult ADD.  For once, when I say “I”, I actually mean my firsty, but like love of chocolate and musical tastes, this is something so fundamental to a personality that it is part of the overlap between my firsty and I.  It’s actually my fault that my firsty figured it out… as I was writing the ’25 words or less’ post recently, I looked into ADD and as I said there, it was like a check list for my firsty’s personality, much of which bleeds over into me: extreme distractibility; hyper focus (particularly for reading and writing in my case); poor organizational skills- particularly a cluttered home, office, and car; losing/misplacing keys, cell phones, etc. (plus of second life: I can’t lose anything because I have an inventory!) ; misjudging time to complete tasks and errands; chronic lateness (as a now I’ve learned to compensate, so my lateness is sporadic rather then chronic); impulsive and spontaneous; addictive tendencies; insecurity and sense of underachievement; sensitive to criticism; easily bored; et bloody cetera.

There is some irony in this story.  My firsty said to himself, “huh” and tested the theory by taking some online assessments.  On one hand I wasn’t real impressed by the assessments.  First flaw, they all consisted of a list of add behaviors and asked you to rate those behaviors as occurring never, rarely, sometimes, or often, meaning there was strong subjective bias, since the line between rarely sometimes and often is a matter of opinion.  Second flaw, the assessments were posted by folks related to prescribing and selling add meds, so they had a vested interest in the results.  Nevertheless, I assessed as “oh, yes, you definitely have it” on multiple tests, not even borderline on any of them, so I had to admit there was a real possibility.  So that evening, my firsty tentatively brings the possibility up to his wife.  He wasn’t really sure what she would say.  Maybe she would tell him that he was overreacting and not to worry so much.  Maybe she would purse her lips and say “you might be right; we should look deeper into this.”  Never in our wildest dreams did we expect an answer that boiled down to, “well, DUH!”  My firsty has quietly asked several other people he knows, played his wife’s response for laughs… apparently he and I were the last people to figure out we have ADD.

Waiting by the old oak tree...

Waiting by the old oak tree…

Of course, in one sense it doesn’t matter if my firsty and I have ADD or not.  At this point, we is what we is, and it’s not like I can tell my employers that I should get some special breaks or treatment because I’m easily distractible- I still have a job to do and I either do it well or I don’t.  And my firsty has years of experience coping with and compensating for the fact our mind works differently from other people’s minds, regardless of why and how it works differently.

There is always an “on the other hand,” however.  Firstly, with years of compensating experience, I’ve learned some of the danger signs.  Just like the borderline depression I may or may not have, the ADD is more pronounced when I’m tired and burning through my reserves- which occurs more frequently now that my firsty has two jobs.  Things I forget while the ADD is more pronounced can create a vicious cycle that makes it hard to get caught up and rebuild my reserves, as well as interfering with my ability to make a good impression at those jobs.  Secondly, my firsty has three life goals at this moment: One, potential advancement into a management position, either at one of the restaurants where he works or another restaurant, so that he can have a more stable income and better benefits.  Two, he wants stability and benefits because he and his spouse want a child.  (Hey, firsty, if it’s a girl, I think you should name her Emily…)  Three, he wants enough structure in his life that he can make a more disciplined effort to write for publication.  We’re already squeezing what time we can from a chaotic schedule, and we don’t want to lose our time to be me.  I’d love to have more hours in a day, but I will settle for getting maximum efficiency from the twenty-four I’ve already got.  I know damn well there is no such thing as a pill for time management… but if there is a way to manage my time without battling my own impulses, to let me be less distractible and more focused, particularly if the cost (both monetary and side effects) isn’t too onerous, wouldn’t I be foolish not to at least examine the options?  Between my schedule and my tendency to procrastinate (particularly about things that make me nervous, like doctors) it will take a while to make the necessary appointments, but I’m committing here that my firsty is going to examine all of his options for dealing with ADD.

It's not my bike, but it should be...

It’s not my bike, but it should be…

Anyway, I also need to cover the fashion stuff… (Ooh, pretty!)  As I promised last post, I’m wearing the Lucrezia, a new dress from Petit Chat.  (Both new to me and newly released.)  The dress is beautiful, and was only 150 L$.  As one of the first to buy the dress, I was gifted with the jewelry, which wasn’t yet released this morning when I wrote yesterday’s blog but is now out for 100 L$ on marketplace and presumably in-store as well.  (I haven’t unpacked it yet, although I checked it out the pic on marketplace and it definitely is jewelry I will wear.  (I like bangles and necklaces and rings.)  My pink & black skully socks and my Red Leather Kicks from Prozak complement the Goth-inspired dress.  I will confess I did need to resize the skirt to make the outfit fit- but then I’m wearing the Meredith Tweenie shape, so I’m also running a bit small today.  My skin is Sweet, a *JStyle giftie, to which I added a chest tattoo from Orsini and a face tattoo from Grumble.  My hair also needed some resizing… It’s the Princess hair in Gunmetal, and a marketplace search for the creator, Sarabi Spatula, came up empty.  For accessories, I added some glasses from Envious, my black choker, piercings to my nose and lip, black flex arm bands, and some razor bangles from Grumble.  End result: I’m cute and punky!

Oh, and one parting thought… The oak tree I took a picture with for this blog caused me to remember a song that refers to tieing the yellow ribbon around the old oak tree.  (Remember, my mind wanders off on its own fairly regularly.  I’m just glad it usually comes back…) so since it’s an awesome song, let me include it in this post…

  1. […] Sister, can you spare some time? | sltimewellwasted […]

  2. […] Sister, can you spare some time? | sltimewellwasted […]

  3. Nerdy Woman says:

    Time management is my bane. If you asked me to say when one minute has passed, it would probably be 3 minutes before I called it. My internal clock runs so much slower than the real world clocks.

    As for ADD… you are right that this diagnosis is frequently the result of tests designed to identify many things as ADD (or clinically, ADHD).

    Many of the characteristics of extremely intelligent people mimic ADHD. You might want to check out (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted). Search their resources for gifted adults. Don’t let yourself be misdiagnosed or prescribed drugs that can’t cure gifted traits. Having said that, Strattera does help with the focus thing…

    I really enjoyed your post today. Thank you for sharing this.

  4. […] Sister, can you spare some time? | sltimewellwasted […]

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