I’m so unique I look like everyone!

Posted: November 6, 2013 in Monday Meme
Tags: ,

Dear Berry and Winter,

Thank you so much for your recent Monday Meme challenge.  The idea, figure out what celebrity you resemble, seems so simple and harmless.  May I emphasize the word ‘seems’?  As I prepare to jump from the ledge of a penthouse apartment balcony, I take solace in the fact that even though my impending demise is entirely and completely your fault, you will doubtlessly claim your request was perfectly innocent.

Don't make go over that railing!

Don’t make me go over this railing!

Dammit, I am a chronic shape- and skin- changer who has already confessed to identity issues because one shape and skin I definitely do not resemble is that of my personal First Life avatar.  Do I look like anyone famous?  Do I even look like myself?  Do I even know what my self looks like?  If beauty is only skin-deep, and I don’t actually have a skin… does that mean I am ugly by default?  And why didn’t you at least give me some questions so I had something to talk about…

You know, I tried.  I even went to the Picadilo.com Celebrity Look-a-like generator you tried to blame on Sash Arabello.  That was the mortal blow to my self esteem.  I had just finished up my ‘Curl up with a good book’ post, so I didn’t even change my look, just took a snap shot to see who I resembled…

So cute, so feminine, so Donald Trump?  Really?

So cute, so feminine, so … Donald Trump? Really?

The listing of celebrities was Chris Rock, Donald Trump, Danny Glover, and Nick Nolte.  At least Chris and Danny were also black, but this was the point where I decided to test the generator a little further…

Felicity Huffman 78%.. but also Anthony Hopkins 72%

Felicity Huffman 78%.. but also Anthony Hopkins 72%

Anne Heche 67%… or Jason Statham 59%

Anne Heche 67%… or Jason Statham 59%

Kirk Douglas 78%  or Tyra Banks 70%

Kirk Douglas 78% or Tyra Banks 70%

It was so depressing to see that my first attempt generated no female lookalikes and that for my other skin and shape combos, I always had at least one male lookalike, generally one where I didn’t see it.  I did think of another way to push the envelope.  In my wandering, I’ve come across a few shops that tried to specifically offer celebrity lookalike skins/shapes.  The first store group I ever joined was ‘Ash’s Trash’, (taxi to the store location).  Ash has a thing for Britney Spears in specific and pop culture female celebs in general.  She has modeled most of the outfits she sells after outfits her divas have worn on TV, and has a room full of shapes and skins for celebrity lookalike.  So I did a quick transformation to the ‘Timeless Doll’ skin and shape modeled after Cher, and even donned long black hair and an outfit more appropriate for a woman half her age to make the resemblance stronger…

Is it Cher or is it memorex?

Well, I thought it looked like Cher…

Instead my best likeness reported was Toni Braxton (42%), with next a three way tie between Will Smith, Usher, and Russell Crowe.  (all 35%).

At the other end of the respectability spectrum is First Lady Skins.  Their trademark skin and shape is the Michelle.  Prices are a little high, and it is disconcerting that all of their sales posters show their skin/shape combos nude and uncensored.  (I know, I know, they aren’t selling clothes, but it still feels a little sordid.  Oh, go ahead and take a taxi and see for yourself.)  Celebrities include Serena Williams, Madonna, J. Lo, Jessica Alba, Beyonce, and Liza Minelli.  I’m not really sure if the skins I don’t recognize are celebrities I don’t recognize or true generics.  (The First Lady skin I owned prior was the ‘granny smith’ because I was looking for an older skin a while back… )  I was going to buy and model one of the celebrities to try out, but I’m already feeling depressed, so I’m not going to spend that many Lindens for a one-use skin/shape combo.  (Plus, going somewhere else to find the right hair, blah, blah, blah.)  Instead, I just snap a photo of the Madonna skin/shape combo and run it through the insulting likeness generator…

Is 'puffy nipples' really the selling point to emphasize?

Is ‘puffy nipples’ really the selling point to emphasize?

Looking at the text on the sales board, I understand again why I feel a little dirty just walking into this skin shop.  I do get a few surprises when I run the celebrity look alike.  The two Madonna faces, left and right, each pull a different listing of recommendations, even though it is blatantly obviously the same face in both.  Only one name is in common on both lists.  Needless to say, it is NOT Madonna, who didn’t appear on either list.  Instead it is J. Lo.  (Now I’m dying to see if the J. Lo look alike skin will look like Madonna.)  And for the first time, I have a shot that comes up with all female names: The left face’s list is J. Lo, Paris Hilton, Mariah Carey, Eva Longoria, and Jennie Garth.  The right face’s list is Condoleeza Rice, Mary Kate Olson, Katherine Heigl, Jennifer Lopez, and Danny Glover.  (If both lists had come up all girls, I might have bought this skin regardless of price just for the femininity…)  I’m not bothering to show the billboards, but for the record the J. Lo skin generates a list of 10 female celebrities, none of whom is J. Lo or Madonna.  Oh, and the Michelle doesn’t look like the First Lady according to the list.

Anyway, I’m now more confused about who looks like what looks like which or maybe witch then ever.  So I’ve decided to end it all, and Berry, Winter, I want you to feel guilty about this for the second or two it takes you to click away and on to prettier and sillier things.

Sincerely,

Emily.

PS: Of course, the wonderful thing about Second Life is…

I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky….

I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky….

… when you jump off a ledge here, you can choose to go upward…

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