22 Stanzas about 44 Men

Posted: December 7, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

So I was listening to my iPod on shuffle, and I rediscovered the song by the Nails, ‘Eighty-eight Lines About Forty-four Women.’ It occurred to me that there was no reason why there shouldn’t be a comparable song about forty-four men and, well, you know me.  No filters.  If an idea enters my head, it instantly gets lonely wandering around there by itself and pops right out…

Time to party like a rock star!

Time to party like a rock star!

Martin  was a Catholic boy, convinced that kissing was a sin.

Aaron felt the same way too, until he downed some shots of gin.

Hiromi came here from Japan, quiet when the lights were on.

Jason hung out at the clubs, partying from dusk ’til dawn.Snapshot_003

Maxwell was a carpenter, making beauty out of wood.

Alex tried to hold a job, but somehow he never could.

Xavier was a dental tech, putting gold in people’s teeth.

Brian found a different path, putting girls out on the street.

Colin slipped out in the night, he’s the one who got away.

Scott should have been the perfect catch, until I learned that he was gay.

Tyrone sulked in the corner, he was bitter, he was pissed.

David ended up in jail, for hitting girlfriends with his fist.

I sing, I write music, I play the drums… call me Emily-of-all trades!

I sing, I write music, I play the drums… call me Emily-of-all trades!

Cameron was a real bad boy, he was dangerous from the start.

Philip seemed the nicer sort, until he left and broke my heart.

Kyle left a string of girls, never knowing they’d been played.

Henry, who had a wife, said “I must go,” but finally stayed.

Brody wore my underwear and paraded ’round the house.

Zachary tried to date my friends, until I dumped the cheating louse.

Donavan was well endowed, but dumber than a box of rocks.

Chad was creepy, skulked around, until I finally changed my locks.

Nothing gets boys like girls with guitars...

Nothing gets boys like girls with guitars…

Ronnie was a fitness freak, training to run a marathon.

Michael purchased protein shakes, but still was fat when they were gone.

Kenneth bought a case of Schlitz, pulled the blinds and drank alone.

Gerald got his D.U.I. after two bottles of Patron.

Thomas wanted lust instead of love, turn him on and take him home.

Craig would rather ride his Harley, no girl could compete with chrome.

Jon was ignored by the girls, overshadowed by his brother.

Jackson wanted to be spanked, still had issues with his mother.

I just had to Dali in this instrument shop...

I just had to Dali in this instrument shop…

Stephen was a soccer star, dangerously fit and lean.

Tony was a swimsuit model, his abs had a sexy sheen.

Tommy Trumble liked hard sex, wearing leather ass-less chaps.

Farrell picked up working girls, caught a bad case of the clap.

Franklin was a sculpter’s son, inner beauty was his need.

Jurgen was a farmer’s kid, he just wanted to spread his seed.

Erik ran away as a teen, made his own way on the street.

Preston, without his entourage, said he didn’t feel complete.

I hits the drums, and then I hits them again.

I hits the drums, and then I hits them again.

Robert started a garage band, told his friends to call him ‘Riff’.

Louis entered agriculture, sold his friends a potent spliff.

Terrance didn’t give a damn, nihilism was his style.

Ronald wrote bad love poems, some were o.k., most were vile.

Steve enlisted in the Marines, they would make a man of him

Kimball went under the knife, surgeons made him into Kim.

Matt would lecture about math, bore insomniacs to sleep.

Alex, I saved the best for last; you’re the guy I chose to keep.

That was fun to write.  If you are familiar with the song, you will recognize that I tried to parallel my lyrics to the original in a few places along the way, both to keep the imitative style going and as a way of keeping count on my way to 44.  If you aren’t familiar with the song you should check out this youtube video here or just compare to the lyrics here.  Also, some credits stuff: My outfit for these pics was from Edelfabrik, their Twenstar-Eleven outfit.  Pretty much all the clothing came in this set: Jeans, Tanktop, Jeans Jacket, Thong, Bra (yes, I’m actually wearing underwear today!), Socks, Sneakers, even the e-phone prop and the tan lines (tattoo layer.)  My shape was back to the Kids5B gigi teen.  The skin was Vodka, from Egoxentrikax.  The hair is “DK-Squeak-Blonde Pink”, source unknown.

  1. turhonmcdowell says:

    love this!

  2. zeesl says:

    This was amazing, so much fun to read! 😀

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