Unfit To Print?

Posted: January 17, 2014 in Writing Prompt
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

It’s really true.  No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.

I thought this  recent WordPress Daily Prompt would be right up my alley: Click over to whatever website you visit most frequently to get news. Find the third headline on the page. Make sure that headline is in your post.  After all, growing up, I wanted to be a journalist.  Other girls could dream about becoming actresses or ballerinas or teachers, I was going to be a hard-nosed investigative reporter!  (Or possibly a fairy princess.  I was … distractible … as a child.  But enough digressing.)  I’m part way to a Journalism degree from Miami University, and once I get my credit cards paid off I will go back to college.  I even found the headline I wanted to investigate further… Website: 6 Ohio Colleges among fastest growing for sugar babies. (OK, I cheated a little.  The prompt just said ‘third’, it didn’t actually specify third from the top, and the headline about pothole repairs just sounded BORING…)

This sounded promising.  An excuse to dress up in a school girl outfit in the name of ‘undercover work’ or possibly ‘under the covers work’.  An excursion to investigate one of the seamier role-play sims, a mission somewhere between “Just One of the Guys” and “To Catch a Predator.”  (Side note.  I know it’s old and a little bit cheesy, but I adored “Just One of the Guys.”  I wanted to be Joyce Hyser when I grew up.  And a journalist.  And a fairy princess.)  Just slip into the sim, play the ingenue, see if I can find some creepers, then TP out to tell the tale.  So I checked my inventory, tried a few things on in front of the mirror, and soon I was all dressed up and ready to go.

Serious reporting that isn't afraid to ask: "Who's yer baby?" *wink*

Serious reporting that isn’t afraid to ask: “Who’s yer baby?” *wink*

(For the record: Shape: Kids Girl Shape (15-18) from Sour Pickle.  Admittedly skirting the line on age play, but I am setting my hook for creeper.  Skin: Tessa from WoW Skins.  Hair: Calla’s ImSoPreddy in Mocha.  Uniform: Dare Designs STFU Schoolgirl Uniform in Bubblegum Pink.  Of course, ingenue or not, I accessorize with attitude: Red Leather Kicks from Prozak, Earrings and Red Collar from *JStyle, facial tattoo from Grumble, Grumble, ‘Nerdy’ Glasses from Envious, Black Cherry lip gloss from [DUMB BLOND].)

Thus prepared, I entered the infamous Rocky Valley High School sim.  I was fearless.  I was prepared.  I had a battle plan.  Oh, yeah, what was that about battle plans and contact with the enemy?…

On my way into Rocky Valley, I found myself temporarily distracted by a small shopping center.  There were shops for Edelfabrik, Fresh Faces, Lucy’s Bodies, Keili,… Fortunately, I am a hard nosed investigative reporter wannabe, so it was going to take more than aisles and aisles of sexy outfits, cute teen shapes, and fresh-faced gorgeous skins to sway me from my purpose.  (That’s journalist-speak for “everything was too expensive.”  I’m a self confessed shopping addict, but that also means I’m a veteran Linden-stretcher.)  And as I was browsing, a cute guy came up to say hello.  Ripped shape.  Good hair.  Although obviously a peroxide blond, since he had dark facial stubble to match his blond hair.  His clothes… well, I don’t really have the eye for men’s fashions, since I wear girly-girl clothing, but mentally I tagged him as a probable newbie; his clothes looked quickly and crudely thrown together, cheap stuff not even as nice as the outfit I chose for my alt (Hey, if Strawberry can have a Manberry, why can’t I?) by doing mix-n-match out of the public access inventory library.

Hard hitting journalists hit the hard questions first...

Hard hitting journalists hit the hard questions first…

The cute guy- I can’t keep calling him “the cute guy”.  For the sake of a name, we’ll call him “Bob4298”.  I’ll emphasize that WASN’T his name, so I don’t get accused of libel if there is a real Bob4298 out there somewhere, but his name was a common name followed by a string of numbers, so you get the feel.  Yes, this was another reason I mentally tagged Bob4298 as a recent immigrant to Second Life.  So Bob4298, possibly newbie, definitely cute, has started a conversation with me.  He leads early with a compliment to my outfit, a surefire way to make a good impression.  (I happen to think I am really cute.  Tell me you agree, and we have something in common…)  And then he baldly announces, “I was trying to look under your skirt as you walked over here.”

Cue the noise of screeching tires as the conversation comes to a crashing halt.  I’m not offended by the sentiment.  When I see someone who is attractive, I generally try to see more.  I’ve done all kinds of “check out”: the surreptitious glance out of the corner of my eye, the “whoa my god” where my neck practically twists off as I crane to keep watching someone hot walking past me, the “look past” where I angle myself so I can see a beautiful person over the shoulder of the person I’m talking with.  Between all the SL hunts I go on and nights dancing at the Carnal Oasis, I’ve also learned how to do “camming” tricks, concentrating and moving my vantage point away from myself.  It’s a great way to check out the beautiful people.  Since I check out people, I’m certainly not offended that some one would check me out.  I recognize the implied compliment, and I would certainly hope that others find me worth checking out.  I am offended by the breach of etiquette; discreet is always acceptable.  Blatant can be acceptable, if done with charm and/or confidence.  “Hey, baby, I’ve just got to check you out” is a line that probably wouldn’t score points with me, but also wouldn’t cost any points- it’s direct, it says “I think you are pretty and would love to see more”, I have friends who would respond well to that approach, so I’m O.K. with it.  Creeper lines like “I was trying to look under your skirt” are a no-go unless a) the conversation has already gone into creeper territory (a lot of conversations at dance clubs go there) or b) you know me well enough that you can be a perv in an ironic, humorous way.

I should have just left immediately, but no, I decided to give Bob4298 another chance.  I laughed hesitantly and admitted I wasn’t really sure how to reply.  (Translation: I gave subtle signal that the conversation had made me uncomfortable.  Some of you will make the intuitive leap that subtle probably isn’t Bob4298’s forte, and guess my signals might not work.  Where were you when I needed that advice?)  Bob continues to ask about the clothes at Rocky Valley.  I continue to try to stay in character: ingenue, recent ‘transfer’ to Rocky Valley, interested in the school newspaper- I’m already guessing the odds of Bob4298 being potential sugar-daddy material can be measured in terms of snowflakes and hell, but I’m a method actress, and I’m trying to get a better feel for the sim, and I’m curious what will happen next.  What happens next is Bob asks me if I’m wearing any panties.  Cue screeching tires again.  Screw method actress, I am out of here.  Not walking.  Not running.  Not passing Go and collecting 200 Lindens.  I am straight out of there.

Oh, and just for the record, I actually was.  It’s more of a sometimes thing than a given, particularly since some of my jeans and skirts have really low waistlines.  But again, there IS an etiquette for learning that sort of detail, and Bob wasn’t using it.  The disappointing thing, however, is I returned to Rocky Valley the next day.  Wandered around on campus.  I spied on a football player and his girl friend having an argument and then making up/out.  I walked in on another student and one of the campus security guards fooling around in the basement, and blushed and fled before they saw me.  I tried to start conversations with some of the other students I saw walking around between classes by themselves, but didn’t really get anywhere.  The conversation with Bob was the most interaction I managed to have on-sim, and I gave up and left before it went any where.

So much for my big plan to go all Woodward and Bernstein on this post.

Oh well, maybe I can still be a fairy princess when I grow up…

  1. […] amazing and beautiful and cool and I now have ‘Alice in Wonderland’ on the brain.  A few weeks ago, I admitted that as a child I wanted to be a journalist and/or a fairy princess when I grew up. […]

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