Always Resolute

Posted: December 29, 2014 in Uncategorized
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Let me start off by hoping everyone reading this had a better Christmas than I did.  You probably did; I set the bar much lower than I would have liked.  When I was a little girl, my mom was really into Christmas and the rest of us were dragged along in the wake of her enthusiasm.  After she walked away and vanished without a trace shortly before Christmas ’99, the Marik family pretty much declared ourselves to be over Christmas.  Norm sent Dad and I generic ‘wish you were here’ postcards from the base where he’s stationed.  The words ‘Christmas’ or ‘holiday’ made no appearance on the front or back of the cards; only the cards’ December 19th postmarks gives away that these are Norm’s Christmas cards.  Dad volunteers to work a double every Christmas so that one or two ‘rookies too green to know what a bitch life is’ can have their Christmas.  Most years I lurk in the background at a friend or coworker’s family gathering, trying to hide my feelings about Christmas with either a fake smile or a genuine buzz.  Not really an option this year; it’s hard to hide in the background with an adorable, but also colicky and fussy, newborn.

Meet Piper Jo, my new plus-one for any event...

Meet Piper Jo, my new plus-one for any event…

Plus there is the weather to consider.  I didn’t have a white Christmas this year.  Instead, it was a dreary and drizzly day, with bitter gusts of wind that occasionally slashed like a serial killer’s straight razor.  I don’t have a car, and although the doctor has reluctantly admitted that I’ve recovered enough from my Cesarian to drive my motorcycle and I’ve found a government-approved baby carrier for my bike, I wasn’t willing to subject Piper to that sort of chill.  So I spent Christmas day alone with my baby in my severely under furnished apartment.  No tree, no decorations, no presents.  There were a couple of gift cards for Grumble, Grumble, one from my dad and one from Allie Munro.  There was the small stocking I put together for Piper- a bottle, a couple pacifiers, some bibs, and a couple wrist-rattles.  We ‘opened it’ when we woke up in the morning, but since Piper is still too young to get, or even notice, her presents, opening her stocking was just the same person who put stuff into the stocking- me- pulling it back out and pretending to be surprised.  Yay.

I'd tell you to feel the excitement in the air, but there was none...

I’d tell you to feel the excitement in the air, but there was none…

The rest of the day was spent wasting time online in First Life.  My avatar had a better Christmas than I did.  He and Mrs. Firsty had a big, multi-day affair with more family than I can keep straight, lots of people excited about Firsty, Jr, and huge piles of swag both given and received.  Finally, around six I took Piper over to one of our neighbors, who watched her long enough that I could slog a couple blocks through the cold and gray to get some Chinese take out.  I managed to find a present some dog left on the sidewalk on my way home, which made my Christmas crappy in both the figurative and literal senses of the word.  As I was swearing and wiping my boots in the grass, I swore that I am done being done with Christmas.  Regardless of how I feel about Christmas and how it has treated me over the years, Piper Jo Marik deserves better Christmases, and I resolve that next year, Christmas will be Merry.

"…And may all your Christmases be white."

“…And may all your Christmases be white.”

Which begs the question.  It’s almost New Year’s.  It’s the time when we make promises about how we will behave during the new year.  (Although the cynical among us claim they are only promises for the first two or three weeks of January…)  So I took time and took stock and did some thinking.  These are my resolutions for 2015:

  1. Piper Jonasine Marik’s second Christmas will be much merrier than her first.
  2. I will figure out a way to make work and single motherhood fit together so that I can give PJ the opportunities she deserves.
  3. I will write more copy for Grumble, Grumble.  They’ve been a great sponsor, and Allie deserves a great blogger.
  4. I will be quicker to express gratitude and slower to whine about the events that occur in my life.
  5. I will be choosier about where and with whom I hold romantic interludes.

Oh, and a few fashion notes about today’s post: My hair today is Jace by Tameless Hair.  My skin is from WoW Skins.  The gorgeous Creme Brule sweater I’m wearing came from PRISM.  The dark green Capri pants were a group gift for Ms. Canning.  The boots are from Bad Karma Designs.  The overall effect is terribly cute…

  1. […] In my last post, one of the resolutions I made was, despite the havoc parenthood has wreaked on my schedule, to show more love to my erstwhile sponsor, Grumble, Grumble.  So I threw a quick outfit together, dropped Piper with a sitter, and came down to the main store to see what was going on that most needed some loving spread… […]

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